Dear Diary Thursday 18th of May

I have just finished reading Liane Moriarty’s book, (one of my new favourite chick-lit authors- yes I am one of those women) ‘What Alice Forgot’.  This is the second book in a 9 month period that has made me wish I kept a diary. The first being  The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83 1/4 Years Old.

I thought I would add a diary section to my blog and see how that pans out. I could buy a pretty book and nice pens, which I would spend hours scouring Pinterest and Amazon to locate, because it has to be just perfect to hold the depth and breadth of my thoughts.

But I know myself too well. It will sit on my desk looking pretty and unused.

So I will give this a go.

I have had some frustrations with my blog anyway. I am hoping having a slightly more flippant space will help me overcome them.  It takes me forever to craft the kind of blog posts I write. I mean literally hours. I go over them, re-reading and analysing the tone and making sure it says exactly what I want it to say. Which is great, but sometimes I just want to talk about the book I have read, or the frustrations of life without it having any deep and and meaningful significance to anything or anyone else.

Does that make sense?

Yesterday, I got some exciting news. I can’t tell you it just yet, because it is not my news to tell, but I was excited by it and I look forward to August/September.

Today I replied to an email my mum sent me. She is compiling a list of our families medical history, which is a great idea!  But it is confronting, having to type it out and hit send. It is also confronting reading about your other family members and all they have been through in life.

hug

It brings back the frailty of life and how some days, we all have our own battles that are marked by hidden scars beneath the surface of skin and bone.

Joey attended a Laser Tag birthday party this morning, and then I took him to the park with the dogs this afternoon to ride his new bike. He has been a late bloomer in the learning to ride a bike department. He hasn’t really wanted to until now. He can be a little risk adverse our Joey, and bikes are one of those unpredictable things in life that can sometimes cause you to hit your nuts (or so I am told).

I have been trying to watch videos and read various parenting articles of late. Trying to work out that balance between having expectations of teens (especially), and setting boundaries, but wanting them to be as autonomous as possible.

It is really hard work parenting teens.

This knowledge frustrates me a little, when I hop on various parenting/mum’s groups on the internet and everything support wise is directed at new mums.

I get that being a new mum is hard work too, I have been there, and contrary to what I often hear said, I haven’t forgotten what it was like. It was tiring, and emotional and physically demanding. You often felt you lost yourself to this little life that relied so strongly upon you for everything. It could also be very lonely.

Teens though, are different. You can’t make them do what you want them too any more than you can a screaming new born. They are bigger, and stronger, and can walk off mid sentence, or make logical and illogical points about issues you are discussing. They make decisions that can affect the rest of their lives, and you can’t do anything about those decisions, you have to hope and pray that the consequences aren’t life shattering or start them down a path that might be.

You can’t pick them up and dress them, when they are late for school like you can a smaller child, or place them in a high chair when you want them to eat or sit them at a desk to make them study!

The parenting journey shouldn’t be a competition of the seasons, it shouldn’t be a new mum vs old mum scenario, but sometimes it feels like that when I am looking for support online.

Perhaps it is because you have had to have been there to know that?

I dunno.

Anyway, I best finish up, I am beginning to waffle.

If you’ve made it to the end of my first ramble, then I salute you.

Much love

wplogo

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